First Step is the Hardest

You would think after various attempts I would get used to the first step of quitting smoking - but it really is the hardest part of the journey. You know the pain and difficulties that lie ahead and that it can all be avoided if you don't bother starting at all. The fear of failure - again - weighed heavily on my mind when I phoned up the smoking class today to find out if I missed it. Apparently it starts tonight....

Excuses, excuses:

I am still recovering from the flu and feeling quite tired and drained today... (first day back at placement).
I have been up since 6.30am and I am tired...
I won't get home till 8pm! That's too long a day!

Then my colleague (who is on day 5 of his personal journey - we were meant to stop together, he dumped me in favour of an earlier start....) told me that I can get the same support from the pharmacy, and if I made it one local to my placement location I don't have any excuses (I was halfway through saying my pharmacy would be closed before I got home when he threw that one at me).

So off I toddled, and the lovely pharmacist took some details and informed me (so much for personal choice, picking a date to be ready etc etc...) that my quit date was 18/1/2011. I go back on the 17th to get my patches and get a CO2 reading (where they tell me how much poison is in my lungs) and then quit the next day. Every Monday I go back - they do a reading to see if I cheated and get my next weeks patches. It has a very rehabilitative feel to it all.... then I suppose that it what I am doing, rehabilitating myself into a non-smoker.

So as I walked up from the shop - stop smoking leaflets in one hand, fag in the other, I thought about my first step. I realised that, in fact, my first step was completed - I had asked for the help, got it and signed my life away. The second step is this week - I have to 'disassociate' my habitual cigarettes, e.g. the ones I always have - like before I go in the office, before lunch, waiting on the train to go home - you get the idea. By smoking at other times I will weaken the link between cigarettes and specific times of the day, so when I stop those times won't be particularly more difficult than any other - an important step to limit the impact of craving!!

So there you are - step 1 - now I have to plan my quit date.