As an individual, probably as a result of the nation I have been brought up in, congratulating myself is not something that I am particularly good at doing. Mistakes, struggles and difficulties feature heavily in my blog(s), take a glance at the dates alone in this blog and you'll prob be able to guess that this journey alone has had a few stumbling blocks.

Today, however, was a good day. I cannot express through words how much better the nausea has suddenly become. Don't get me wrong I still get a good 10-20mins in the morning, compared to 2-3 and physical vomiting, no competition really. That alone has definitely allowed me to obtain a much more positive mental attitude towards this attempt. Feeling sick every day is so emotionally draining and frustrating and upsetting. Having this reduced to something more manageable has given me a new push in the right direction. The nurse had said that if it didn't settle this week I would have to come back and they might have taken me off the drugs, so I am so happy all in all that this issues seems to have been resolved.

Sleeping has also improved, and (touch wood) I haven't had a nightmare for 4 nights! wooo!

And today, I realised about 3pm I hadn't thought about cigs that much. I was at training so it did mean I was kept fairly occupied. One of my major triggers is in the car. As soon as I am in the drivers seat, and on a straight bit of road, I light a cig. Regardless of how far I am going or when I had my last one.

Today...no problems. Didn't miss them, didn't think about them, even when I got stuck in traffic.

So today was a good day, and in a rebellious display of anti-britishness, I am going to shout about it.

1st Big Challenge...

Ok, this week has been a bit nitemaratic. The naseua from the pills has been particularly bad this time round, my sleeping patterns have been terrible and the nightmares pretty grafic. Last couple of days the naseua seems to have settled right down, for which I am eternally thankful, as I was getting to breaking point with that.

I've also been very emotional. As I live alone and I apparently have a stressful job (says the smoking nurse) so I am at higher risk of going a bit dowally on these pills. This week I have definantly been very easily upset (broke down over a dodgy internet connection, for example) and found myself gritting my teeth at my desk at work on more than one occassion.

Monday was day 8, and between Monday-Thursday I only had one or two cigarettes at night. Thursday and Friday and Saturday I never had any at all until I found myself at my gangs local haunt The Grosvener and had a few over the evening as I was drinking...heavily.

In fact only having 4 or 5 cigs over a night out is EXTREMELY good. So good in fact I do not feel in the slightest guilty about. I go back to the nurse in a month to see how I am getting on and I have a really good feedling about it all this time.

:))

Day 1 of quit attempt 473 :s

well today was day 1 - I have taken the horrible Champix pills for 9 days now and its been a bumpy ride. Between the intense morning sickness and the messed up dreams I have thought about coming off them more than once. But I have perceived and slept in more than once for work!

So today was the 1st day that I was not going to have a cigarette. I say not going to because I did have one after my dinner. I had a few left over and with me that is never a good thing. My mum takes comfort in knowing she has emergency fags stashed just in case, but I can't - if I have them then I will smoke them.

Today was...very, very difficult. I felt very angry, very sick and quite emotional. I was tired from a terrible sleep the night before and felt as though I thought about cigarettes the whole day. I also hurt, my lungs are sore because I can't stop coughing, understandably given they are trying to get rid of the 10 years of tar and chemicals I have shoved into them.

I held off all day, even when I got stuck in the regular hospital traffic on the way home. But after my dinner the cravings just got too strong so I caved.

Haven't had one since.

Determined to keep going!

day 1 - Cranberry Vomit

WARNING: this blog will be frank!

Took my 1st Champix this morning, 5mins later I was in the bathroom throwing up the cranberry juice I used to take the pill. Not nice....

So not sure wither or not the majority of the pill actually got into my system. So I shall see how tomorrow goes. I wasn't sick the last time I took the pills, so this is something new. I'll need to keep an eye on it, cause I can't be sick every morning.

Onto Day 2...

Prescription has been picked up!

Well today I went to the pharmacy and picked up my prescription for Champix.

My most successful quit attempt was with champix in the past, but the doc's have been unsure about giving it to me again because of the insomnia I had at the time (poor Sandy was on the couch more than one night cause I wouldn't stop moving about in bed....) but I have a new doc and kind of omitted the insomnia this time (benefit of my notes taking so long to come through) because to be honest I'd rather suffer a few weeks not sleeping if it means I'll chuck this habit for good.

I am most worried about putting on weight so I am starting my new exercises this week (as I will be smoking the first 7-14 days anyway) this will let me get into my routine and see losses before I chuck the ciggies, giving me more incentive and starting my routine.

So this weekend the plan is to gut out my car and stop smoking in it from Monday. The car is definitely the worst place for me smoking, as soon as I am in it (regardless of my last fag) I light up. I am also terrible for having habitual sections of the road or regular journey; like on my commute I always light up at the bottom of the street because I know I'll be finished bang on picking up my car-share buddy Claire). So the car is getting scrubbed out, febreezed and mr shine'd till there is no evidence of smoke left!

Start taking the tablets tomorrow morning :s and will keep you updated on how I get on :) as usually!

Step 1: Seeking Help!

Went to the smoking sensations nurse today! Got a load of leaflets and a prescription for Champix!

£28 a CARTON !

Well folks as some of you may. or may not know. I bloomin well didn't do so grand in the last quit attempt, yet again.

Addiction is genuinely terrible!

But the current treasury of our fair nation has decided that putting up the price of cigarettes by 37p a pack is the best way to raise revenue for the country in a fairly non-controversial way :s

And they are right, it's been mentioned in the news, but to be honest we don't really have a leg to stand on with an argument. Yes, freedom of choice n all that, but truth of the matter is that we are more aware than ever of how terrible it is for you and ultimately the main argument is the main barrier - freedom of choice. We can choose to stop.

So today I bought my last carton of fags - because first thing Monday morning I will be making an appointment to get the Champix drug again.

I am not going to warble on about how this time is the last time and all that again. Fact of the matter is I cannot justify the money - and now I have an amazing holiday to save for I really need to give up.

In addition, my Mother (pictured) who has smoked for almost 30years, has been fag free for over five weeks now and has NOT had the psychotic breakdown typical of her quit attempts. Trust me, If she can do it - anyone can!

So, here we go........again!