I hadn't been out with this particular friends in ages and since we had worked together all week I ended up with an invitation to a friend of this friends birthday night out...
Having only been off the cigarettes for two and a bit weeks I knew that this would be a problem. In fact, its the thought of nights out that are one of the reasons why I usually end up back on them. I figure I am going to smoke anyway, may as well start 4 days early :)
This time however the thought of having a fag beforehand never crossed my mind. My friend calls it smirting - smoking and flirting! and I like it!
I smoked on the night out, maybe 4 or 5 fags overall. The next day my hangover was awful (helped along somewhat by the french martinis that we had!! never again BTW!) and I didn't smoke. I don't really smoke with a hangover anyway - good excuse to be drunk more often I suppose.
But today (Monday) I put a patch on and haven't really been bothered at all. The mental difference is acute at times like this, when you realise that something has significantly changed inside you. Perception has shifted and this is not a phase. Some of my long term friends roll their eyes when I say I have stopped, one of friends tends to ask: are you on or aff them the now, before she has one!
So for the time being maybe the term ex-smoker isn't true, but a smirter... I could live with that!
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