Well hello folks. In my last blog I talked about alcohol, but not because I wanted to give it up or anything, just that I knew I was going to be drinking over the weekend and I was worried how my willpower would fair.
First of all I want to set the scene. My university was holding the national Social Work Action Network (SWAN) conference and myself plus a few other volunteered to help out. The SWAN network is a national collection of social work students, practitioners and academics who believe in radical, socialist values and want to take action against the governments welfare cuts and challenge groups like the BNP!
The night before my friend had a bring a dish party and I knew I was going to have a drink or two...or three. And I COULD NOT STOP THINKING ABOUT CIGARETTES ALL BLOODY DAY!!! So with a weakened resolve I bought ten fags. Although one friend did attempt to physically drag me away from the counter I was fed up with the mental torture that I had went through all day. Buying them may have put temptation in my hand but I sat through the whole evening and did not think about cigarettes once. I had a great night catching up with the usual suspects over a variety of homemade Indian delicacies and had one fag at the very end of the night, which I actually didn't feel too bothered about.
Then the next day I felt weird. I was tired, agitated and just didn't feel quite right. Then I realised something... NO PATCH! Bugger! The new environment of my friends, only having 5 hours sleep, hair and makeup needing done etc etc... totally forgot to put a patch on. So I ended up smoking some during the day as well.
Friday evening... it was ABSOLUTE WINE FUELED CARNAGE - we're not even getting into that discussion. but yeah I smoked....
The point is that on Saturday I was 100% not bothered about smoking. In fact I don't have a patch on right now and I feel fine. I had an amazing night and was privileged to be at an inspiring conference and I smoked. Now I am at home, I am chilling out and I haven't smoked.
Not to belittle the quit attempt, not forgetting Mr Nasty is still there; feeding me excuses. I would like to get to a place were I am not smoking even with alcohol. As long as I am right back on track then that is OK. So maybe not so much Activism! Alcoholism! and Failure.... now I think its more Activism! Alcoholism! and A Stumble on a long term commitment. Just doesn't have the same ring to it!
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