Day 4 – Time to say Thank You

I think it is time to say thank you. I didn't really expect anyone to follow my blog but not only are people reading it and following it but apparently you all think it's pretty good! So I am dedicating my day 4 blog to you all, because you deserve a big thank you for all your wonderful support and because nothing of particular interest happened today which I could stretch to a couple hundred words :)

Don't get me wrong I would have been very surprised if you didn't give me support and encouragement to chuck cigarettes. What I didn't expect however is the sheer volume of support; from my closest friends and family to people I haven't seen or spoke to in years. You are all giving me words of advice and I want you all to know that it does help. It makes me smile when people appreciate my blog and wish me luck, and it makes me all the more determined to keep going!

There are, of course, a few particular people that deserve a sentence or two for their outstanding contributions to my quit attempt. First of all my parents, who have of course nagged me from day 1 of my smoking career to stop. Its probably the only thing they have urged me to quit! I didn't make a big deal out of quit day, no brass band parading round the house whilst a professional town-crier declares "TODAY'S THE DAY!". No, No, none of that. I even left half a packet of fags and a lighter in the kitchen in my usual spot. I just woke up, stuck on a patch and stopped. No pressure on me to succeed or fail.

For their own part my parents stayed pretty quiet about the whole thing and allowed me to get through the hell of the first couple of days alone. Then my Dad saw me drawing Mr Nasty and I told him about the blog... put it this way; I have been trying for the last 23 years to make my Dad proud, hearing him tell me how proud he was of me, well.... melt!

My Mum, who also told me how proud she was, showed me through a systematic cleaning of my jackets, material bags, scarfs etc. things that don't get cleaned all the time. Going out to work with a fleece smelling of a summer breeze is lovely I have to admit. I could never really smell smoke off my clothes before but I can notice the subtle undertones of crushed silk and jasmine a mile away now! Thanks Mum.

Finally, a special thank you for the poor man who bears the brunt of my quit attempts. The man who I have been promising to quit to for 2 years and 11 months. The man who I have lied to about quitting when I hadn't. The man who I resented in previous attempts because HE was the one MAKING me stop. My poor boyfriend!

My long suffering boyfriend has been a huge part of my motivation to give up smoking, simply because he has always hated it. One day we were watching four wedding (I am actually addicted) and we were discussing our wedding (we are not yet engaged, his fault not mine) and he suggested a ceremony called 'hand-fasting'. I googled it and knew I wanted to be with him forever for sure...ahhh.

But in true female fashion I decided one day to ask: "before we got married, if you could change one thing about me... what would it be?". I eagerly waited for the rapid clanging of alarm bells and right flashes illuminating the backs of eyeballs as his brain screamed "ENGH!!ENGH!!!DANGER!!!DANGER!!!"

Nothing...nada... he didn't even blink. "I'd make you a non smoker."

WHAT!?!?!? Out of aaaalllll the things you could change (my temper, my nagging, my habit of opening my mouth without thinking, my ridiculously high standards, my over analytical nature.... you get the picture) you choose smoking?

Then I thought about it, and it dawned on me. To say that my boyfriend hates smoking is a understatement of gargantuan proportions. He utterly detests it! Is completly repulsed by it! Would be the first thing he would ban as president of the world hates it!

For 2 years and 11 months my boyfriend has had to put up with licking an ashtray every time we kiss. Put up with the smell when we're in the bed. Wait on his own in ques, the cinema, shops, restaurants, clubs, pubs whilst I nip outside. He has put up with the one thing he cannot stand above all else...because he loves me.

What a TWAT!

Only kidding. So my lovely boyfriend (future husband to be once you get your finger out and bloody ask) I save the biggest thanks for you. For putting up with me and my selfish habit for 2 years and 11 months I promise that as we celebrate our 3 year anniversary I will not leave you alone in the restaurant and I will not ask that you kiss me when I taste so bad (unless I have fish at dinner!?) because for your anniversary gift this year I am making your 'one thing to change' wish come true..